I Just Went Through A Friend Divorce

This weekend I broke up with my two of my best friends, Gargoyle* and Ragnarok* (not their real names), and it felt pretty damn good! No, you know what, it feels great! At the time, it felt awful, but now I know they should have been dumped a long time ago! They have been using me for years.

I always thought it was odd that they were always around when cool events or concerts were occurring and were always more than happy to go with us to everything IF we offered free tickets. I did invite them to go for free after all.
However, anytime there was an event that we were going to that they would be required to BUY tickets...oddly, they had other plans, or were unavailable for some reason or another. I wrote this off as coincidence for the longest time, because after all, they were my FRIENDS. And friends wouldn't use you like that, would they?

The answer is yes. Yes, they would and yes they do and yes they did. At least these "friends" did.

Over the summer we drifted apart because they started hanging out with other people that could offer them things for free, like ATVs that they could ride for free, while I had stopped offering the freebies.
So naturally, I faded into obscurity over the summer.

This past weekend, there was a music festival out of town and it was also the final weekend of the friendship.
We had asked if they would like to go with us, and rent a VRBO.
I made no mention of providing tickets. However, upon arriving it was made clear that they didn't buy their tickets, they EXPECTED me to provide them...for...you guessed it FREE.
Some friends, right.

After a great first night at the festival, we had a disagreement as to when to leave the festival on the second night and my fiancé and I ended up having to find our own ride home from the festival, despite the fact that their car was parked in MY permitted parking spot. When I made mention of having to find our own ride home, we were confronted by two people that were nothing short of two rabid dogs! The attack was clearly focused at me because my poor fiancé was standing in between us waving his arms telling them to stop yelling at me!
I was called a multitude of things, told that I treat my man horribly, called a spoiled brat and told that I expect people to bow down to me.

What?! My eyebrows just went up too!!

I mean, I like to pretend that I am a Princess, but if I could ACTUALLY get people to bow, that would mean I really am!!! 


Well, people, I am here to tell you that people do not bow to me, never have and never will! A Princess, I am not. 

What followed was a verbal attack like I have never been experienced in my life!! And let me tell you, my Dad taught me to NEVER back down from a bully (or in this case 2) so I was throwing words right back. I expressed to them how used I felt, how they never offer to reciprocate what we give to them, how co-dependent Ragnarok is, and how Gargoyle "loves" throwing my credentials around and acting like a big shot.

Not my finest moment. But when backed into a corner, this girl will come out swinging! 

And I swung for the fences, baby!

My favorite moment of the night came when Ragnarok continued to rant after I went upstairs, and uttered the phrase, "she has messed with the wrong b*tch," (which I heard clear as day as I came back down the stairs.)

I could hardly contain my laughter and HAD to congratulate her on "the line of the night". (I swear if I had a trophy I would have handed it to her and demanded a speech!)

I told them to leave the house, which they did, the following morning, ending the friendship. Forever.

And now after two days of looking back over the past year, I am seeing so many common threads of other people that they have done the same thing too. Many others have come before us and I know many more will follow. G-n-R are the King and Queen of the User colony. 

At first, I was a little broken-hearted, but now I am just over it! I will say that I am much more thankful for the friends that I have that don't WANT anything from me, other than friendship.

So...let me leave you with this, friends...look around...who in your circle is always asking for favors and never returning them when you need help? 
Always there for the good and never the bad? 
Borrowing your money and can yet somehow never pay you back? 
Asking you to vouch for them and constantly letting you down?

You might want to start drafting that separation agreement and consider a friend divorce.

It won't cost you a thing, and you just might gain a little peace of mind.


*Names have been changed to protect the ex-friends* Although I am not sure why I feel the need to protect them still...